Wait jk Katrina I love you 

There is so much more to you than what you see in the mirror. Whether you like it or not, everyone has their own amount of depth. Little or fairly deep, everyone has some. You can think you’re too fat, you can think you’re too skinny, you can think you’re ugly, but there will always be at least one good thing about yourself that you don’t mind or don’t dislike. One thing I learned while trying to make myself better was that the things that I would get down on myself upon were things that could be easily changed. Whether they are or not, it’s your choice to look at things differently. Don’t be hardheaded and look at things only in one perspective. Don’t think, “I will never get better” or “I’ll always be like this”. It’s your choice to get better or stay the same way. I’d look in the mirror and cry about how ugly I was or cut myself or just look at my stomach and think “ew”. Then I finally decided to get off my lazy ass and do something for a change. I’m so young. I’m not 30 years old, I can get in shape, I can eat healthy, I can look nice. I have so much time. Rebuilding my perspective on things was the hardest thing to do. There’s a part of me that’s still the same, but I rarely ever let that get to me. I’m strong, I am not weak. I am not what guys or girls or what anyone says I am. Since when did women and girls get down on themselves so much? What happened to Esther, to Queen Elizabeth, Marilyn Monroe, and all these world changing female icons? Now, there are girls, like I, at the age of 15 that already look down on themselves. Already thinking, “I’m not good enough” or “He doesn’t like me, so why try?” Show him you are the finest piece of ass in the whole damn town. If he doesn’t believe it, someone will. Someone will respect you and love you for you. You’re a delicate flower, and if he stomps on you, let the wind send him all the pollen in the spring. Let him get red eyes and let him sneeze so much his head hurts. And by the summer, you will be a beautiful fucking flower that is confident in anything you do or say. So please, please do this for me- next time you go to your bathroom and look in mirror, don’t think negatively. Think about your new goals you’ve set out for yourself, and give yourself as long as you think you’d need to reach that goal. Oh but most importantly, don’t cheat. Don’t not eat. Don’t purge. You’re selling yourself short, and you’re not working for the body you have. Even when you reach your goal weight, your body won’t be that nice. It will be lanky and it won’t look healthy. Who doesn’t like to say “I just worked out and started doing things differently and just became a lot happier”? I sure as hell would love to be able to say that. And I do, and I fucking love it. I am so glad I’ve changed drastically over the course of this year. I’m not cocky, I’m confident. There is NOTHING wrong with that. The only reason it would be is because everyone is used to girls looking down on themselves. Change. Be happy with who you are and your life. ‘Cause when you’re happy, so are the people around you. Life is so much more fun. And experiencing it after the longest time is the best feeling anyone could ever feel. 

katrina you are SUCH a whiney ass bitch 

carlmont???????? how about no???????

i miss who you used to be so much and this is my third time tonight crying about it. 

i am so glad danielle and i are friends again and i really regret everything that happened. i am so sorry that i did all that shit to you danielle

dont really know how to react to everything. everyone at school can agree with what im saying but whatever lol 

i am so excited for summer. i just want to be happpyyyy and have fun and play beach vball and stuff and ya 

friends lol 

Boarding school is always at the back of my mind. I don’t like anyone here. The people suck and I just want a fresh start. But I know if I were to leave, it would also show that I’m running away from everything that’s happened here, and my mistakes, and etc.